Every Day Is a Beautiful Day, Even When It’s Pouring
The weather is one of my favourite topics and also one of my least favourite. It’s a love/hate relationship. I love it because it allows me to practice acceptance. I hate it because why is it all that anyone ever talks about?
The weather has been one of my greatest spiritual teachers since my journey began. It's one thing that is clear that we have absolutely no control over, yet so many people allow it to dictate their moods. So many people wake up and look outside and if it is sunny out, they are happy and if it is rainy out, they are unhappy.
People say things like "I really hope it's nice out on my birthday or else I'm going to be devastated" or "it rained during the music festival I was supposed to go to, so I decided not to go." We even spend all winter waiting for summer to come just for when summer comes to say things like "it's too hot out." The weather is really all that people talk about.
We, as a society, often let the weather dictate our lives. We also spend so much energy wishing it was different than what it was.
Why? Why do we let something SO FAR out of our control dictate our lives and drain our energy? It is such a waste. A waste of time. A waste of energy. A waste of opportunity.
When I hear people tell me that it's not a nice day out, I often respond by saying that everyday is a beautiful day. It's all about perspective.
The serenity prayer is something that is said during 12 step meetings. It goes like this; God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. The idea of this prayer is very easy to understand when we put it in terms of the weather. Grant me the serenity to accept the weather as it is, not put so much energy into wishing it was different.
Accept the weather as it is.
Acceptance doesn't mean that I need to like it. It means that I am choosing to not argue with it. Not argue with the reality of it. When I do this, the suffering stops. I no longer need to insist that it stops raining, instead, I can plan around it and still find something fulfilling to do with my day.
If we can't even accept the weather for what it is, how are we going to accept our parents, our significant others, our friends for who they are if we wish they were different?
I struggled to accept other people in my life and the way they showed up. I felt that I needed people to show up for me in a certain way or else I would feel unsafe. I spent so much energy trying to play the puppet master in other people's lives. There is an illusion that we may have some sort of control over other people. There are nuances there. Maybe we can talk to them, help them understand our perspective, show them different ways to act. I spent so much time in my active addiction trying to do this. I tried to control their thoughts, their feelings, their actions. I thought that if they showed up in a certain way, that I would feel better. It is similar to the way that we think we would be okay if it was just sunny out everyday. That is until it is too hot and then we're not happy with that either.
While I've learned through my recovery that we can't control others, it is not as clear cut as the idea that we can't control the weather. Imagine trying to reason with the weather that it's your birthday today and that it shouldn't rain? No, we can't do that. But, it starts there. It starts with that understanding that we lack control in these areas of our life that are much easier to understand.
The idea of acceptance is a practice. I'm not asking you to accept the way that everything is in your life. I'm asking you to start with the weather. Something that isn't nuanced. Something that is very clearly out of our control. The next time it rains when you have something planned, notice where your mind goes, notice where your energy goes. I challenge you to try to reframe it with a different perspective, with a perspective of acceptance. It doesn't need to stop raining. The only thing that needs to change is your relationship to it.
